How to accept that he/she doesnt love you: 8 psychological keys
Key ideas to overcome the fact that someone special to us does not love us.
When you love someone but that person does not love you back, what do you do? It may be someone with whom you had a very intimate relationship in the past, it may simply be a "crush", a platonic love?
Be that as it may, that affection and love are not reciprocated hurts a lot, too much. We cannot insist or harbor the hope that he or she will love us because, sadly, it is most likely not going to happen.
As mature, adult and rational people we must try to turn the page, we must accept that he/she doesn't love us. and next we are going to see some steps to manage to surpass it.
How to accept that he does not love you
There may come a time in life that after a long and intense relationship, it breaks. At first it is difficult, it is even hard to assume that you are no longer anything, but it is a fact: you are no longer a couple. Other times it happens that you have never been anything, but you are in love with someone you consider special, even if he or she doesn't think the same about you. And it looks like it's going to stay that way, so what are you going to do?
Whether it's your ex, a person you're in love with, or even a friend you've lost a relationship with, it's time to accept that he or she doesn't love you back. The reciprocity you crave so much simply does not exist.There is no "feeling". You may idolize that person but for them you are not that important, or they are simply not interested in you anymore. You are wasting your time and energy continuing to love her and saying goodbye is the best thing to do for your well-being.
Accepting that you are not loved by someone you care about is difficult to accept. While rationally we may know what to do, the theory always sounds easier than the practice actually is. It will take effort, reflection and maybe even tears to accept the fact that we are no longer loved or have never been loved by someone important to us, but it is achievable.but it can be done. Let's look at a few tips as a guide:
1. Understand the situation
The first step in accepting the fact that he/she doesn't love you is to understand the situation we are in. It may be that we have just broken up with our partner, that a person we are in love with has rejected us or that a friend has stopped talking to us for whatever reason?
Whatever the situation is, it is very important to understand everything that has happened, to relate the causes with its consequences and to understand to what extent the situation depends on us.It was either a coincidence that made us feel something that was not reciprocated by the other.
The idea of all this is to understand that there are things that do not depend on us and others that, even if they do, can go wrong. We do not always get what we want and, in matters of love, this is a fairly common rule. At least, we will be able to accept rejection a little better by understanding everything that is in our power.
2. You cannot control the feelings of others.
It is always necessary to understand that we cannot control the feelings of others or command the Heart of another person. We cannot force anyone to love us, nor can we force them to continue to love us once the flame of love or friendship has been extinguished. Sentimental rejection is painful, but more painful is to insist that something is magically going to change because we want it to.
3. Put distance
In many occasions the best way to accelerate the process of acceptance that someone does not love us is, simply, to put some distance between us. The distance will help us to forget it and, consequently, will reduce our desire to want the other person to continue loving us.
Out of sight, out of mind. If we stop meeting with that ex-boyfriend or ex-friend, ask friends we have in common not to invite us if one of us is there or, directly, we move away for a while from where he or she lives, we will be able to weaken the intense feelings we feel towards him or her.
And we are not only talking about physical distance, but also social distance. A good idea to reduce what we feel towards that person and make what we already know, which is that she does not love us, become clearer and stronger in our mind is to avoid any stimulus coming from her and for this there is no better technique than zero contact: eliminating her from social networks and avoiding having any of her objects at home..
4. Do not blame anyone
It often happens that we experience being rejected as a kind of attack, especially if we are given to understand that it is because we are not worth enough or because we are not to their liking. This can affect our self-esteem and self-concept, making us wonder if it is because we are not handsome, smart, intelligent, clever, special?
Everyone has their own tastes, but we must also keep in mind that rejecting someone does not mean that it is done because they do not like us, but also because they do not like us, but also because they do not like us. several factors may be involved, such as fear of a relationship, being already committed to someone else, or simply because there is nothing that makes him/her want to maintain any kind of relationship with us. or simply because there is nothing that makes him/her want to maintain any kind of relationship with us.
No one owes us anything. We cannot blame anyone for rejecting us, nor can we blame ourselves that we are not worth it. Everyone has their pros and cons, and even then they are not enough of a guarantee that we are going to get a relationship with a person who, supposedly, might like us. Sometimes, even the most perfect person does not become a special person.
5. Surrounding yourself with loved ones
We have lost a friend or a partner, or we have been rejected by someone we thought would love us. We have to fill the void left behind and the best way to do this is to to meet with those who do love us.
In the same way that we must accept that that special person does not love us, we must try to see that there are already special people in our environment who also love us.
Added to this, our friends, relatives or other loved ones can serve as very good distractors, putting the focus of attention to the good times we will be living with them and leaving aside the ones that could not be or that already were with the person who does not love us.
6. Not waiting for an apology
We may expect an apology after our partner has broken up with us or a friend has left us. We want answers, a minimal explanation as to why: "Is there someone else?" "Did he cheat on me?" "Did I make a mistake?" "Do I look boring to you?"
The reason behind why we have been rejected can be very diverse and we may never know it. It is true that sometimes he tells us, which is to be welcomed because it helps us to overcome the mourning phase better, but sometimes we are not so lucky and we are left thinking and thinking what could have happened, which wears us out mentally.
It is not healthy to always expect an apology or an explanation.. In fact, it is possible that the other party also expects one because they consider us to be responsible for why this went wrong, why it didn't work out, even if we ourselves don't know exactly why. Each of you may have a very different view of how the relationship went, so it is quite likely that you both consider yourselves to be "the victim".
7. Allowing yourself to feel bad
It is normal that, when we see a person we love but who does not reciprocate, we feel sad. We have the right to feel this way, in fact, we should allow ourselves to feel sad.
It is good that we feel these emotions and take our time to reflect on what has happened, reflection that will help us to accept that he does not love us.This reflection will help us to accept that he or she does not love us. Realizing that we are suffering for him or her will help us understand firsthand the sad reality that he or she does not love us.
8. Take care of yourself
While we try to accept once and for all that he/she does not love us, we should not neglect our physical and mental health. The healthiest thing we can do at this time is to work on our relationship with the most important person in our life: ourselves. Therefore, we must focus on cultivating a good self-respect and self-esteem.
The only way to have a good relationship with others is to maintain a good relationship with ourselves, satisfying our needs and meeting our own needs.We need to be in a good relationship with ourselves, satisfying our needs and fulfilling our dreams. We must maintain our hobbies, watch our diet, exercise and continue to meet friends and family. We must maintain meaningful activities in order to distract ourselves and achieve happiness.