I know whats good for me.... Why dont I do it? How to implement change
Why do we often fail to move from intentions to actions? Let's look at how to remedy this.
"I have clarity about what things would do me a lot of good in my life right now but... really, why don't I get to implement them in my life? Why don't I do it knowing that it is best for me?".
Many times we fail to begin a change that we deliberately want to make.. We think about it and even decide to do it, but in the end, none of this happens.
I want, I want, I want and I do not do: how to get out of the loop?
It is easy to talk about what we want to change but actually implementing the changes is not such an easy task. However, it can be done, many people succeed, so the question is: What can I do to be one of those people?
Here are some guidelines that can help you implement the changes you need in your life.
Starting by reviewing this point is fundamental because we don't start implementing changes until we really we don't start implementing changes until we really commit to them..
What is commitment? To commit is to be clear that this is important to you and above all to decide with willpower that you are going to prioritize it in your life.
The fact of making a change, no matter how small, implies an effort and our mind does not like that. The mind always goes into survival mode and returns to the known because it is easier. That is to say, it will always tend to take you towards what it is used to because in the short term it generates less effort and less energy expenditure.
It may be that you are not committing yourself because the discomfort is still bearable and that makes you postpone starting to implement. But... Is it necessary to wait until you can't do it anymore to start taking action?
To commit to something is to decisively tell your mind (and yourself) that from now on things are going to be different, even if that means a little effort and energy at the beginning.
Committing is the first step and something that can help us to commit and start taking action is to know our intentions in depth. That is to say, from where we make the decision and from where we want to implement things..
To do this you can make a list of your whys: Why make a change in this direction? Why is it something I want for me?
Often the reasons why moving in a certain direction is good and convenient for us seem obvious, but putting them down on paper helps us to find clarity, motivation and greater commitment.
On the other hand, it is necessary to connect with our inner self in order to know from where we are working.Are we working from self-demand or from self-love? That is to say, it is not the same to impose things on ourselves as if we were our sergeants and dictators than to give ourselves the gift of changes from the care of ourselves. To do this you can start changing your "you should" for "I want", "I would like", "I decide", "I give myself", "I give myself the opportunity to ....".
Values are the directions in which we are heading in our life, so they help us to take the right decisions.Therefore, they help us to make decisions aligned with what is important to us.
In connection with our intention and our whys, reviewing our values can be very helpful. What values do you have in your life and do you care for them? Maybe it is this point that is failing, maybe you have not defined your values or maybe the changes you want are not as aligned as you thought with them. Work on deepening your values.
4. The definition of objectives
This is the point where many fail, because to define your goals and next moves we need to accept our starting point and adjust to it. Accept where you are here and now and from this draw a plan of action towards your goals..
Maybe one of the reasons you don't get to implement a change in your life is because you are not able to adjust to reality. From perfectionism you would like to be already at the point you want to get to and that's why you get blocked, get demotivated and give up quickly. That is to say, since you cannot start from an ideal, you decide not to continue, give up or think that this is not for you.
In many occasions we see this ideal so far away that we procrastinate the beginning or we get disillusioned. because we feel we don't measure up. You are probably focusing too much on the final goal and you find it hard to accept your present, something that is not going to help you to start implementing.
We need to do a good exploration of the starting point: where am I right now, and from there plan an action plan that will bring you closer to your ideal.
Focus on your here and now. You do not need to start with big things, just take small decisions to implement, decisions that do not involve a radical change from one day to another but that gradually lead you towards your goals. Changes are progressive, we must not forget this.
Many people forget that when something requires an effort it is important to know how to motivate yourself and also to do it often. Each person is motivated in a different way, so in this sense, knowing ourselves is a great help..
We can start by asking ourselves: What has motivated me in the past? And also: What am I doing to motivate myself now?
In addition, learning to focus our attention on our whys and how rewarding this change is for us is the secret.
As I said at the beginning, our mind will always try to take us back to the known, it will create excuses and ways to avoid spending and ways to avoid spending energy on doing something differently this time. Therefore, training our attention and directing it towards what brings us positive change is a good way to learn self-motivation.
6. Compassion, and learning to work without comparison
You are not going to make it perfect. The beginnings are sometimes hard, so starting from a work from self-compassion, from the love towards your person helps us to accompany us in our process. Sometimes it will work out better, sometimes worse and that's okay. Always keep your intentions in mind and do not punish and self-punish yourself for not yet being where you would like to be or for failing from time to time because that way it will be very difficult for you to persevere with the change.
You are human and as such we all need our times, which can vary from person to person. Stop comparing yourself with others. No one is better or worse than you, integrate the fact that everyone is on their own path, everyone has their own experiences and everyone is only responsible for their own progress.
Finally, I would like to remind you that repetition is the key to change. Repeat what you want to implement over and over again until it becomes easy for your organism and your mind. And don't forget to ask for professional help if you need it.