Lack of orgasms in women – what to do?
What is a woman’s orgasm, a norm or rarity?
Everyone knows about orgasm and its role in life, but not always from their own experience. Why some women cannot achieve it during sex and what to do about it – find out from our article.
According to statistics from the American Kinsey Institute, about 30% of women do not achieve relaxation during sex, and 10% have never had an orgasm at all - neither during intercourse, nor during masturbation. According to other sources, during lovemaking, 70% of women are not able to achieve an orgasm every time they have sex. We can all agree that the number is rather big.
At the same time, 75% of men achieve an orgasm every time they have sex. The remaining 25% are usually diagnosed with erectile dysfunction and treated accordingly. The medical community regularly publishes new research on the causes of this pathology. However, although there is scientific work on the lack of orgasm in women during intercourse, there is no research on those who do not receive satisfaction even during masturbation. Perhaps it is because of this that society is quite skeptical about them and is called "frigid". This term has overgrown with many negative connotations - this is how it is customary to designate some cold women who cannot experience either arousal or an orgasm.
Anorgasmia is a physical inability to get an orgasm despite stimulation, a rare onset of sexual satisfaction only under special conditions.
So what is the main reason why women rarely have orgasms?
Despite popular belief, the disorder is not characterized by a lack of sex drive. With the help of MRI, American scientists have found that under stimulation, there is no brain activity difference between the women with the anorgasmia diagnosis and women who experience sexual arousal that may or may not result in an orgasm.
Anorgasmia can be of several types: primary or congenital (a woman has never had an orgasm), secondary or acquired (before a woman could achieve an orgasm, but now she is facing difficulties), situational (a woman can only get satisfaction under a certain scenario - oral sex, masturbation, and so on) and general (a woman cannot reach an orgasm with any partner, regardless of the situation).
The modern media and pornographic films suggest that multiple orgasms in women happen all the time, and if this is not the case, then you have problems. You should not think that if you do not climax all the time something is wrong with you. Anorgasmia is a rather complex phenomenon, and it occurs for various reasons.
According to the specialists of the Mayo clinic, there could be a lot of different causes for persistent anorgasmia:
- General diseases (multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease);
- Gynecological diseases (various operations, inflammatory processes in the pelvic area, condition after difficult childbirth);
- Use of medications (antihistamines, psychotropic drugs, pressure medications, antidepressants);
- Alcohol abuse;
- Hormonal changes (after childbirth, during breastfeeding period, during menopause, or related to other body systems such as thyroid hormones imbalance, and so on).
Of course, psychological problems also play an important (and sometimes the main) role in the inability to achieve orgasm.
Anxiety, depression, eating disorders, body aversion, bashfulness, stress, religious beliefs, emotional or physical abuse in the past can negatively affect your sex life.
Sometimes the cause of the disorder is insufficient stimulation of the erogenous zones, inattention or rudeness of the partner during intercourse.
According to statistics, not all women experience discomfort due to lack of orgasm: some are simply content with pleasant sensations during physical intimacy. According to the sexologists, this is completely normal, and you only need to sound the alarm if the inability to achieve relaxation really ruins your life. Other women feel indifferent, perceive sex life as a duty, while others feel disgust, avoid sexual intercourse. Sometimes, due to the permanent lack of an orgasm and congestion in the pelvic area, headaches, insomnia and abdominal pain are observed.
According to doctors, anorgasmia also increases the likelihood of pelvic varicose veins.
What should you do if lack of orgasms bothers you?
First of all, experts advise to visit a gynecologist so that a specialist will conduct an examination and tests to exclude medical problems that require treatment. The good news is that anorgasmia is not a definitive verdict, but a diagnosis: it can be treatable, for example with the help of well-chosen hormonal or psychological therapies, medicines that enhance the sensitivity of the genitalia due to improved blood inflow (Femalefil based on Tadalafil). Diagnosis usually consists of several examination programs. A gynecological examination is carried out with suspicion of pathology of the pelvic organs, includes ultrasound and tests for various infections. If you suspect hirsutism (excess hair growth on the face and body in women), infertility and a disorder of fat metabolism, experts send the patient to an endocrinologist who performs an ultrasound of the endocrine glands and also prescribes the necessary tests for hormones.
Treatment may include estrogen therapy (drugs with the content of female hormones) for women in menopause, as well as local estrogen therapy - a vaginal cream, ring, or pills based on Tadalafil which helps to increase blood flow to the vagina and thus helps to become aroused. In some cases (for example, in the removal of the ovaries), testosterone therapy is also used.
If no medical problems were found, then most likely the matter is in psychology. An experienced psychotherapist is able to "pull" out of the patient such problems that they did not even know about: depression, increased anxiety, or excessive fixation on issues related to sexual dissatisfaction. If there is a psychological problem, it is highly advised to use counseling but a woman can also use the non-hormonal means to promote arousal and subsequently increase the chances for an orgasm we mentioned above (creams, ring, pills that enhance the blood inflow into the genitalia). You can buy such means and medicines without prescriptions and in most countries you cannot buy hormonal medicines that can harm you without a prescription so you shouldn’t be scared to try non-Rx means. However, it is still preferable to consult a specialist first and exclude/treat the diseases that may be present.
Anorgasmia can actually cause depression and neurotic disorders or exacerbate existing problems.
Pathology often provokes cooling towards the partner (up to disgust), which leads to conflicts in the couple, which in turn aggravate the woman's already depressive state. In this case, in addition to a psychotherapist, it is necessary to visit a sexologist or even opt for couple’s counseling. The specialist will help to overcome psychological inhibitions and sexual fears, reduce the level of anxiety about the perceived insolvency and attractiveness of the patient. As a rule, in such cases, sexologists advise to study your body, look for points of pleasure, masturbate, fantasize more and experiment. Sometimes couples therapy also helps because partners learn to openly discuss problems in sexual relationships.
Despite the number of women who have problems reaching orgasm, this topic is still taboo, even among close friends. Unfortunately, most of women, who cannot climax during intercourse, consider themselves inferior and blame only themselves for conflicts with a partner that arise on this basis. But it is important to remember not to panic and of course, do not blame yourself. If lack of orgasms is a problem for you – look for the reason. Experiment, talk to your partner, try sex toys and means/medicines to improve blood circulation in the genitals. If they don’t work, go to a gynecologist, check your hormones, go to a psychologist, sexologist, try couple’s counseling – as you can see, there are many paths you can try to improve your sexual life so there is no place for desperation!
Nonprescription means to help a woman achieve an orgasm
Post by: Katherine Christensen, gynecologist, sexologist, Copenhagen, Denmark